Wednesday, September 18, 2013

E vs. Banana Bread Muffins (spoiler alert: I lose)

Some of you may know that I am having an ongoing battle with my daughter's stomach.  Poor Fancy Pants bloats at every blink of an eye.  All the regular culprits seem to have been eliminated (dairy, gluten, soy, gnomes) so we are at an impasse for the moment. However, I have been trying to cut down on her carbs and give her mostly veggies and protein. Fancy Pants is not super happy with this as you might imagine. My girl never met a muffin she didn't like and watching her brothers chow down on cereal every morning is starting to give her serious rage.


So, I did what any good Mommy would do...I searched to find her a muffin that she could eat.  She loves bananas and we always have some on hand, so I figured that banana muffins would be awesome.  I would swap the regular flour for almond or oat flour, add a little Xanthum gum to hold it together and we would be good to go.
Alas, I was to be thwarted.


I made a couple of batches of these muffins, WHICH SHE ATE by the way, and then I noticed that they were COMPLETELY UNCOOKED in the middle. Seriously. I didn't follow my own "taste everything" rule because I really, really hate bananas. My husband told me that he thought they were mushy and it wasn't until he said something that I broke one open and saw the disgusting raw blob in the center. Fancy Pants was so damn desperate for the muffin that she just kept eating them despite my lack of skills. 



Obviously, I tried again.  And again.  And one more time. I have been completely defeated by the muffins.  I can't get them to rise, I can't get them to finish cooking, and if I leave them in the oven too long the tops and bottoms get rubbery and the middle remains uncooked. I am hella pissed. You would wonder why I don't just ask Evey to MAKE me some GF Banana Muffins since it's kind of HER JOB, but I was bound and determined to do it on my own. You know what? I frickin' quit. Screw you, Banana Muffins.  I'm opening some Pinot Grigio and drowning my sorrows.










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